This book was very enjoyable overall - and hot, too. :)
In addition to some unevenness in the language used, there were a few things I didn't like: Like the strong "gay for you" trope, especially when compared to the negative portrayal of another Needler who is written to be 100% gay in a very "bitchy queen" way. And, more than the ridiculous "space lobsters", the thing that irked me about the world-building was that it seems to be a future in which both the civilian society and the military seem more puritanical, less advanced than today's world. Not just with the strong, unquestioned homophobia everywhere, but also because it's apparently an all-male army, which seems rather unlikely, especially after an alien attack.
But all in all I was thoroughly entertained, in the way of good slash fic, and read the whole thing through in one evening. The two main characters were both endearing and flawed enough to be likable, and their connection was nicely built, with enough setbacks to keep the tension going until the (expected) happy end. And did I mention it's sizzling hot? *g*
However, a definite TRIGGER warning applies for dubcon, rape and suicide!